The Shy Ogre That Wasn't.







In a stony outcrop in The Wood, there once lived an Ogre.



It was a very shy Ogre.



When it slept, it slept under a great big pile of rocks. It kept it warm and safe.



When it woke in the late mornings, the great big pile would shiver and a few loose rocks at the top of the pile would roll down, and you would have been able to see the top of the shy Ogre's head. She had frizzy black hair, and it shone under the late morning sun. And she would peek out over the pile to see if anyone was around before she came out.



If there happened to be a passer-by, she would timidly speak in a small voice,"Would you turn around please? I am about to come out of my pile and I am quite the shy Ogre."



If there was not anyone around, she would slowly ease herself out of the pile, and when she was sure she was alone, she would give herself a thorough shake to shake off any pebbles and bugs that were caught in her shiny, frizzy black hair.



Everyone in The Wood did not know what the Ogre looked like. Because she was so very shy.



"We do not know what she looks like. Sometimes we are not even sure whoooo she is." said Old Ollie the Owl as he sat in his branch high up a birch tree.



"Yes! We do not know! We do not know sometimes!" cried the litter of light brown bunnies, hopping excitedly around the place. "Hush, little ones. We must not be rude. Sometimes people are too shy to be as noticeable as we would like them to be." cooed Ma Rabbit, patiently trying to gather all her little bunnies into their hole in the ground.





The Shy Ogre trundled by one evening and all the little bunnies were excited to see her, even though they could not quite see her face.



"Ogre! Ogre! Do turn around and show us your face! Do not be shy! We want to know what you look like! Let us be friends so that we can play together in the meadow!" cried the little light brown bunnies.



The Ogre blushed deeply and shook her head.



"Please Ogre! At least look at us!" cried the little light brown bunnies, giggling to themselves when they saw that the Ogre was blushing.



The Ogre gathered up its courage, and it slowly turned to face the little light brown bunnies. But they could not see its face. It was covered by all her shiny, frizzy black hair.



"Oh Ogre! We cannot see your face! It is covered by all your shiny, frizzy black hair!" the little light brown bunnies cried.



But the Ogre was shy again and it turned away and trundled off to its home in the stony outcrop of The Wood.



"Come to the end-of-season picnic tomorrow! It will be held at the meadows! There will much to eat and drink Ogre! Do come!" the little light brown bunnies cried out as their very shy friend walked off.







The next day, the little light brown bunnies were hopping around merrily in the meadow as Ma Rabbit prepared little dishes of carrots and lettuce. Almost all the animals of the wood were there. Grandpa Mole was there, Big Beatrice the Bear was there, Monterey the Field Mouse was there, even Lopez the Lemur was there.



Everyone was happy and eating and drinking. Old Ollie the Owl sat in a tree looking down at the merry proceedings.



Suddenly the Ogre arrived, but no one saw her at first, for she was standing shyly behind some ixora bushes as it looked at the crowd. Soon she emerged from the bushes and walked to the merry little crowd of animals.



"Look, it's the Ogre! And she's got her shiny, frizzy black hair tied up and tucked behind her ears! And she is...!" the excited little light brown bunnies cried out but were stopped mid-sentence by the sight that was presented to them.



"Why, yes, she does have her hair..." Ma Rabbit started, but could not find her voice to finish what she had to say when she turned to look at the Ogre.



"Oh my." said Big Beatrice the Bear.



"Sweet Jesus." said Grandpa Mole.



"Holy fucking crap." said Monterey the Field Mouse.



"I'll be fucked" said Lopez the Lemur, "that is one ugly son of a bitch of an Ogre."



The Ogre stood unmovingly before them.



She smiled.



She looked around coyly and she smiled some more.



Her smile got so big and wide that it almost covered her face.



"Ma! Tell her to go away!" cried the little light brown bunnies, all of them close to tears.



"...Oh my..." was all Ma Rabbit could force herself to say.



The Coy Ogre beamed. And she turned around and walked away.



Now everyone knew, the Shy Ogre was not Shy at all. The Shy Ogre was just being Coy.



The Coy Ogre reached her home in the stony outcrop in The Wood in the night. She gathered up a pile of rocks and crept inside the pile and settled down to sleep, with a big smile on her face.



The Coy Ogre was happy that everyone knew she was not the Shy Ogre they thought she was.



The Coy Ogre slept like a baby.



"Jesus, that is one ugly bitch." muttered Old Ollie the Owl to himself, sitting on his branch high up a tree as he saw the Coy Ogre go to sleep.



No one bothered the Coy Ogre anymore from then on.

Corazon de diablo. Siempre me intentas rebajar.

do you believe what i sing now?





Ok i'm going to do a bit of promoting here.

For those of you who don't know about it yet, Dashboard Confessional are the next band you have to hear. Believe me, you will like them. Originally a one man band, now it is a full band. Fronted by former further seems forever frontman, Chris Carraba. Check them out.



Choice tracks - "A Plain Morning", "Screaming Infidelities","Best Deceptions", "So Impossible"

i did something today that i've never done before in my life. i hope it's not the start of something bad.

Wow. What an uproar my little comment on channel 8 drama serials has caused.







All The News That's Nu







Ahh...sunday morning. Nothing like getting up when you want to, but it would seem that it doesn't matter to me since i get up around 8.30 most of the time on sundays. Most of my friends(whatever little i have), get up way later than this, and have trouble getting roused from their slumber. Sometimes all it takes is just a shiny glass bottle(perrier or corona will do) up the arse. Sometimes you need to add a little twist of the wrist to get them up and singing.







There hardly is anything interesting to watch on tv in the mornings on sunday. What happened to cool programs like "Sunday Brunch" with Ng Chin Han and pre-fame Diana Ser? I settled for channel Newsasia this time seeing that somehow Pokemon hasn't started and the Powerpuff Girls only fight crime on saturday mornings.







There's some Japanese guy on tv and he's talking about some retraining stuff after he got retrenched. He's in a new job now and he's nattering about his boss who helped him. Then as i tuck into breakfast, a trailer for an upcoming show comes up. "Follow Billy the Beagle as he goes through a day of obedience school". Now, that's news. Just what the busy executive needs on a sunday morning after a week of missed deadlines, shoddy accounting and underhanded business practices.







"Gee Lou, I wonder how the stock market's doing this morning. There'd better be more yield for my equities or heads will roll on Monday. Hahaha! Ahh...What the? Where's the stock market table? What's this damn dog doing. I don't want to see this damn dog go to school! Lou, where's my Business Times? No, no get me the Asian Wall Street Journal instead. What, you haven't bought them yet? Where is the damn market report. C'mon...c'mon, yes, dog peeing dog running c'mon show the...oh jesus christ."





i've switched the tv off.











Oh there's one good thing though. Turns out that there are drama serial reruns on saturday mornings after all. i was pleasantly surprised when i switched on the tv yesterday morning. This time however, the focus of the episode wasn't on fashion, it was on the bad acting.





i can't wait for monday morning to come.

The story that has been in the works for about 2 years now is finally done at smallstoriesonline. Go check it out in its complete glory. All 16 parts of it. Story's called " Same Difference" and i guarantee it will not be like any other comic you've seen before. And it's good stuff too.

The days are getting longer, and the time is getting shorter.





i wake up real early in the mornings and i usually sit down to some tv as i eat my breakfast everyday. i'm always looking forward to watching one of the cooking shows i love, be it those hosted by the nosh brothers, jamie oliver, nancy kwan or even nigella lawson. But somehow channel 5 has screwed up big time and put a stupid design show on the 5.30am slot instead. It's not even "designer guys"! Or the one, the only, Nik Manjolovich from the lifestyle show i cannot remember the name of. It's really fulfilling to watch fags host design and lifestyle shows. Instead of any of these essential shows, they instead have reruns of incredibly old chinese drama serials on channel 8. The one on this period of time is one which has Sean Say, Madeline Zhu, Sally Chen and some other familiar face who acts in my genie 2 right now. How fucken retro can you get? C'mon it's Madeline fucking Zhu. When was the last time you heard of her?





The thing about old chinese dramas is that you get a look at fashion back in the day. And holy crap, it was fucking horrible. The drama that was showing before this current one was one about two policemen who are best friends, one of which was Thomas Ong. An example of fashion from there? A pair of light faded jeans, tight. Track Shoes, unknown brand. T-shirt which looks like it was bought at the wet market. And the final finishing touch. A beautiful stained-pink-in-the-wash windbreaker. Now we're struttin'. The show right now is about a female police inspector, Madeline Zhu. Sally Chen is some gongfu tomboy. And she has a deep voice, which i wish i wasn't reminded of. And Sean Say, i can't remember what he does besides run around and shout with conviction a lot(that seems to happen a lot in chinese dramas, no?). The horrific sight i was greeted with this morning was this guy(the resident baddie, smarmy, over-confident and supposedly dashing) who was in a mustard-beige suit ensemble. Only thing was, the fashionista wasn't wearing a shirt inside his suit. Not a tie even. Instead, Mr Hotlook was wearing a goddamn singlet in his suit. A low cut one at that, with ethnic wet market designs on the front. And of course, a black choker with what seems to be a hardened shiny fish's eyeball dangling off it. i wish i wore stuff like that. i like to look good sometimes too.





And they say that Singaporeans have a terrible sense of etiquette, wearing sandals and flip-flops into hotel restaurants. Considering the era before this, i think we've made quite a leap ahead. And really, this is a bleedingly hot and humid tropical country so you can't really dress up in the latest fall fashions unless you want to have your trendy togs sticking to your back the whole day can you? Want an example? Look at the shows on tv now. The American shows, everyone wears jackets and stuff. The local shows, everyone wears, at the most, a shirt and pants. Unless there's a really stereotypical businessman character in his suit wardrobe didn't have the right size in.





It is still early in the night, but i feel like going to sleep now so that i can wake up early tomorrow for my daily fix of the latest in fashion of the era past.





Wait, it's Saturday tomorrow, so there won't be a rerun.





Damn.