i just heard Suzanne Jung say "and later Melvin Yong will get financial".



whoah, i didn't know newscasters were allowed to be so hip with their language. maybe in the future when the censors let up, she'll add the requisite "on yo' ass" to the sentence.



"and later Melvin Yong will get financial ON YO' ASS. But now, on to the main headlines of the day as i get all FACTUAL ON YO' ASS." (of course to make this sentence work, the second "on yo' ass" must be said professionally with a slight head tilt forwards, after a short pause, after the word "factual".)



"whoah Suzanne, that's some language you're using."



"you'd better believe it, Henry. just as you'd better believe all the news i'm reading off the teleprompter. i can't believe you guys forgot to bring the laptop for my table. i don't get paid to shuffle papers, you know. i get paid to click around aimlessly with a mouse on a laptop. i had a paused game of solitaire from yesterday's show. and that game better still be paused where i left it. seriously, people, you got to get wit' da program here. seriously."



"right...and on with the sports news today, man u ate muff toda...ok who's been fooling with my script again?"