christmas is sneaking up this year. it only dawned upon me today that it's gonna be jc's birthday this thursday. no, not the guy from n'sync.



again the christmas spirit has eluded me. i can only remember one year when i was almost totally engulfed by it. humming and singing carols all the time and being a christmas nut. and that was when i was quite young, in primary school. other years the yuletide cheer came too soon and fizzled out too soon too. mostly it's just not there, like this year.



i wonder sometimes about the connotations of a 'white' christmas. but i don't think i get very far cos i don't feel much like spoiling the occasion by overanalysing it. its like listening to countless emo and poppunk bands. it's a pretty good experience as long as you dont spoil it by overthinking about the unoriginality and stuff like that. but anyway, can you blame these bands. reproducibilty is everywhere in this age. at least they make the originators more original.



i have recently relinquished my status as a pirate, and i'm stockpiling for another long semester in a room with little entertainment. i'm working against time here. so if anyone got suggestions of anything worth checking out on the aural front, feel free to let me know. think about the bleak prospects of my next semester and think about granting me some salvation.

"...'This is a sad day for Iraq. The people celebrating are uneducated and not the majority. You wait and see. It will become much worse.'...



...US soldiers are handing out book bags for Iraqi children. The problem is they have an American flag on them. Must colonialism be so blatant?



On the flip side, the children are tearing off the flags, and oftentimes either an Iraqi flag is being sown in its place, or a picture of Saddam Hussein..."



read the article here.

well, well, well.



saddam's been captured. hope they got the right 'saddam'.



gotta sympathise with the guy. after spending all that time growing out his hair and beard to prepare for christmas. looks like the kids aren't gonna have a santa this year. no wonder he was resigned to his fate. or so the papers claim.

well, i wasn't very inclined to, but w asked me to put something here about tonight's incident. so well i guess i will.



anyways, we were at borders, after having dinner at marche, after a saunter down orchard road. as usual, we went to the music section to peruse through cd after cd, going over little minute details like only how inane music bitches do. so it was very merry and the like, when at the "S" section, it happened.



w started to look a little perplexed, whilst i at the same moment, caught a whiff of something most unsoothing to the old sniffer. i was still looking at cds but this new nasal sensation was tugging at my shirtsleeves for my attention. so i delicately traced this foul bouquet and as i swiveled my head to the right, the sight and realisation dawned upon me like a morning's heavy dampness together with the full affront of a scent so foreign and vile that i could not help but cover my mouth, and laugh. the stifled laughter of a person who realises the gravity of the situation and also the merry mirth of one who realises that w has also experienced the same revelation.



i staggered away, turning back only to grab a cd that caught my attention. we clawed our way to a listening post nearby and still could not escape the vileness that permeated the air like an insidious waft that grabs you by the gonads. w tested the waters by walking around in a desperate search of pleasant air while i observed that the odour was localised to only the aisle we were in. soon we were a safe distance away and we observed this element of terror together.



it was some construction person, quite filthy, quite foreign. i can't make out his nationality. but it wasn't a pleasant smelling one.



most intriguing of all, he had a plastic bag tied over his head.



of course this led us to ponder for reasons why.



w could not come up with a satisfactory explanation as he was too sickened and excited at the nature of the smell that he had just encountered.



my theory was that the plastic bag was tied there to stop all the lice on his head from jumping off to attack nearby targets.



so we somehow pieced together that he probably hadn't washed his hair and kept that plastic bag tied to his head for a week to achieve such an aroma.



as we walked out of borders, w asked me what colour would that smell we encountered be, if it had a colour. at first i thought it would be greenish-yellow, but it wasn't all that pungent and putrid. it was a rather more greyish-brown colour.



later on i speculated that perhaps he got all his mates to give him a bukkake on his head a week before and tied the plastic bag on his head to keep it nice and festering.



w then reasoned that perhaps that all that spunk helps hair growth so the plastic bag keeps the nutrients in. i heartily offered to condition his hair for him. but he seemed quite antagonistic about it. and so i took his silence to be a declination. though the coy smile on his lips confused me for a while. i shall have to ask him about my offer again sometime. just to make sure.



actually on afterthought, now that the shock has worn off. there is a logical explanation for the plastic bag. he must have tied it to his head as it was raining earlier on in the evening. and being presumably involved in construction work, he must have been outdoors in the rain.



well, logic never made anything very humorous.



i prefer the bukakke explanation personally.

fuck. i knew it. it's happened.



the latest song to be bastardised by a beer ad is 'happy together' by the turtles. damn you heineken. i shake my small fists at you.



why why why?

i was at novena square today. went there to meet my mother. spent about an hour or so there cos well there wasn't much to do at home anyway.



as usual i headed to W. H. Smith to check out the reads, in particular a few books i've been feeling like getting. when i got there, i couldn't find a decent book anywhere in the place. i mean, well there were books, but they were those on sale kind well cos, they were all on sale. 5 bucks a pop. stuff like unpopular stephen king titles and shit like that. what happened to this bookstore? the rest of the store was filled with children's toys and paraphernalia, magazines, vcds, stationery and to my surprise, snack foods. something's gone very wrong with this place.



anyway after looking at the vcds, i headed downstairs to the ground floor thinking to while some time away wandering around in cold storage looking at the meats or something. but as i headed towards the supermarket, i suddenly caught the strains of a violin and i looked around. there was a string quartet playing in the middle of the mall. so i was drawn to this instead and parked myself against a pillar to dig some classical sounds. the sound was quite bad, you could hardly hear the viola (i hazard a guess) and the cello, so it was like a duet of two violins. and during the first piece, one of the violinist's bow kept hitting the mike positioned above him as he played. didn't think a string quartet would have percussion in it. the sound guy was pretty clueless to what was going on, reminding me of the eternal struggle between school PA goons and aspiring bands who perform at school events. but still it was quite cool and i just hung about listening to them pound out christmas tunes. right in front of them was a charles and keith shoe sale. and it's a pretty surreal sight to see four classical musicians in black serenading office ladies and aunties whilst they scramble over shoe after shoe. it was like a battle between arts and commerce. quite a few people were drawn to the quartet. but i think it's mostly out of the novelty of the event then for the music. some culture to fill up an otherwise mundane lunchtime hour. too bad none of the people drawn were from the sale.



it was quite interesting to hear conversations of the people watching around me too. one auntie said to another in mandarin, "ni de hai zi hai zai xue na ge flute mah?". the other laughed courteously and shook her head and said something in reply ending with, "...mei you shi jian ah!". you don't really need to guess why the kid ain't got time for something as frivolous and unmarketable as a musical instrument. well maybe i'm just being an arts cynic.



another auntie saw her friend and walked up to her with a big smile on her face and said, "this is my favourite song!". the quartet were playing something that was used for some commercial on tv (no it's not from a fucking beer ad. stop whistling.). her friend asked, "what's the name?". she replied, "i don't know! hahaha! i just know it's my favourite song!" after a while they sauntered off to the nearby body shop to find one of their husbands who was there presumably to pick them up (no, not in that way).



(i said stop thinking about the fucking beer ad song.)



at first no one clapped when they finished a piece. but gradually the audience warmed up to them and clapped after every piece they played, you could see the lead violinist, this hotshot looking specky guy with gelled up hair, very virtuoso-like, liked it a lot. though he made this quite valiant attempt at this tricky bit with lots of 16th notes, but he mucked it up something terrible. but at least he played on, and it was a really long bit too. if it were me, i would've just played something simpler but perhaps that would fuck the rest of the quartet's timing up. but it's not like i can play the violin in the first place. i can pluck it like a guitar, but i never tried it with a bow before.



anyway well, that was like the high point of the day. after they finished their performance, i went to check out the notice board to see if they would play again. seems that i somehow managed to stumble upon their only performance for the whole of the christmas season, which is a bit of a bummer. but hey there's a jazz band on for the 19th of Dec. maybe i'll check that out.

aye jason and the argonauts was good. and what's more, there's clash of the titans next wednesday. go ray harryhausen go.



hey all you limpbizkiteers, i feel kinda sorry for you guys. but i couldn't help shaking my head and laughing when i found out that fred and gang aren't coming down. but well it still is a bitch. i guess you guys took the highway.



why am i speaking as if there are actually that many people who read this site. or even limp bizkit fans who do?

well well guess i was mistaken. masters of the universe is being shown on sunday night.



well catch jason and the argonauts tomorrow then. no fear of clashing shows.

seriously, is anyone as excited as i am that limp bizkit are actually gonna be here to perform. god i wish i fucking had tickets to the show.



but wednesday isn't a total loss. why? cos channel i decided to lay us with another b-grader but this time it's a good one! well i know the critics all fucked it up but it's quite a cool show to watch still. it's he-man for crying out loud! this movie is the basis of one of my most vivid dreams. i still remember being pursued by skeletor and his goons while me, he-man and the gang were scuttling off somewhere to find a safe place to put courtney cox (of course back then i just knew her as the girl in the movie). then after doing that among some crates in some alley or something i got handed a laser blaster and i was ready for action. somehow i remember this pretty senseless bit where we ran into this office thing through large sliding doors and skeletor and goons were right behind us. and some fool (i think it was courtney) couldn't get the damn doors to slide shut properly. and i heroically saved the day by figuring out how to do it. how two large glass panels are supposed to stop a bunch of killers is quite beyond me. but it's the same sort of logic you find in b-grade movies and sometimes some a-grade ones too.



if you see the picture of the movie poster, you can see some poor sod actually called this movie "the star wars of the '80s". that guy's career as a reviewer died at that very moment. who's gonna listen to him now? if he were here right now he'd probably this show "the nypd blue of local tv". you gotta pity the guy. he's just the office joke now.



oh and if i'm not mistaken, channel 5 has jason and the argonauts on the line-up for tomorrow too. gotta watch this too.



ok you know what. i tried searching the tv listings for these two movies. and i can't find masters of the universe anywhere.



well at least there's still jason.

all these smells i have almost forgotten. it feels good to know them again.



the smell as i stick my head out the kitchen window in the mornings after i wake.

the smell of the hawker centre as i walk past it on my way to the main road bus stop.

the smell of borders as i approach the entrance.

the smell of heeren as i step through the automatic sliding doors.

the smell of warm city streets.

the smell of air-conditioned buses.

the smell of my home as i get back after a day of being out.

the smell of fresh laundry done at home.

the smell of my room everytime i enter.

the smell of my mother cooking in the kitchen.



i'm tired.

aight i'm back.



it's been an alright two days home so far. the weather isn't like really hot and unbearable. feels just like last time at home. anyways it's been raining all the time so far. so it ain't that bad.



when i got on the bus yesterday i suddenly felt like i was being overwhelmed by all the noise and people. the tv mobile seemed much louder than i remembered and it was a human crush in the bus. i guess i just got used to the wide open empty spaces in perth. the whole day i felt like there were too many people everywhere i went. oh and i almost forgot to tap my EZlink card everytime i got off the bus also. lucky there were other people getting off before me everytime.



it's been a quiet two days. and the straits times seems to have revamped itself. where the hell is the sunday plus? and all this little section headings on almost every page. it's a little confusing. and the comics look so big it's weird.



one good thing is that i can now listen to my cds on my stereo at home and blast it. 4 months of cheap small speaker music really makes your life really bland. now even my cheap stereo sounds like it has a fantastic bass sound or something. it almost injects some verve into my life.



i really really need a haircut. any recommendations on how and where? and one more thing. anyone of you got any idea whats the best deal for me for internet access? i'm using the starhub dial-up now and the it's faster to go to the library to find info than to search it on the net. i'm gonna be here for about 3 months. so please please tell me if you have any idea of any good deal i could make use of eh?

so this is the last night.



well, it's a warm muggy night in perth and i have been restless the whole day. spent the day packing and putting stuff away in the storage rooms in hall. i'm not bringing back much. which suits me just fine cos i don't like carrying much stuff anyways.



my room is so bare and empty. all my posters and whatevers have been taken down since two nights ago and now every drawer and cupboard is empty. the only things remaining on the shelves are my morning toiletries and facewash. i won't be coming back to this room again next semester cos somehow me and three friends managed to get a really lucky deal and got ourselves allocated to the flat on the ground floor. so it's like this living area with four rooms and a quite large kitchen and dining area i heard. basically, we landed the largest living space in hall. sounds like a good place for wild debauchered parties to me. but my future flatmates aren't that happening. but neither am i in any case.



so i guess this entry should be reflective and retrospective and all that usual stuff that comes along with the end of things. well i can't really say what is really like significant from my time here. but that doesn't mean that there wasn't any significance at all. it's hard to pick out this kinda stuff. tell you what. when you guys see me back home and sense anything different, ask me about it, then maybe i'll be able to tell you more about whatever you notice.



oh, and if you were wondering. no, i don't have a new accent. at least i'm pretty sure i don't. it's not like i hung out much with australians. it's a mini singapore here. together with dozens of other nationalities.



well, i've run out of things to say here. this is probably my last entry this year from perth.



but there'll be plenty more in the next 2 and a half years.



see you guys back home.

it's over!



it's all finally over!



and now...er...



...now i have nothing to do.

one more to go.



ONE MORE BEFORE I UNLEASH THE FURY UPON THEE.



ok i'm not making sense. shut up.

is it just me or is rock now uncool?



and



even more rockin'!

i just remembered something.



a few weeks back, i overheard this angmoh dude sitting at the table behind me in the dining room talking during breakfast about terrorist attacks. what he said was that he was going to stay in his room and not go anywhere on the 13th of November cos he claimed that that will be the next day the next big terrorist attack will happen. his reasoning was that the twin tower incident happened on September 11th 2001, Bali incident happened on October 12th 2002, therefore in 2003 something big will happen on 13th of November. sounds like an interesting argument to me.



i know it's the 14th now here. but i also realise that the US is almost a full day behind me. so hey jiwwo if you're reading this, keep your eyes open and watch your back.



i'm not paranoid. i'm just letting on what i heard.



i'm also getting pretty hungry now. think i shall go sleep off the hunger.

ahh...

sitting in my room on a rare cool thursday night trying to study some philosophy with rancid on the speakers.



does it get any better than this?





of course it does, bitch.



...

i had my linguistics exam today. last night out of desperation i resorted to acrostic means to remember a set of headings for a certain bit. and this was what i came up with:



From:



Participants

Parts

Stages

Linear Sequence

Causation

Purpose



i got:



Para

Para

Sakura

Lanjiao

Cheebye

Puki ma



and it works like a charm. i can still remember it all now as i type it out. too bad i didn't have to use this bit of info in the paper today.



two more to go.



and home here i come.

because rock is important.



and



religion will kill us all.

exams start tomorrow. and it's my favourite subject first. boy i can't wait for this to be over as soon as possible.



been waking up even earlier than usual and holing myself up in the library which is such a change of scene for me that i think i might change my name to preserve my anonymity.



i'm quite stoked that i'll be heading home in about two weeks time. wanna be all walking around town and eating some familiar hawker food again. i am really getting quite sick of the food i'm getting in hall. so much so that yesterday i didn't even have lunch or dinner. i just ate instant noodles. which i don't think is that much healthier than hall food but oh well.



itinerary for today:



get up, morning ablutions, breakfast, library (till i'm sick of it), lunch, library again (until i get tired), dinner, maybe library again? or back in room stoning and trying to study whilst listening to music on laptop.



i am a CD library. i have lent out i don't know how many CDs. i hope i get them all back before i leave here. i'm not too worried about the CDs that i lent to singaporeans cos i can get them back from them back home. but i've lent some to a japanese girl too. and Osaka is quite a ways away to be getting anything back from anyone.



soon this will all be routine and mundane. this is my life now. shuttling between countries. i'm sure i will start to really feel displaced after a while. not really in sync with the groove back home and not really in time with the beat down here. of course things will never be the same when you return to them after a while. but i hope i'm not missing out on so much that i'm a stranger to home. that i'm a stranger to you, you and you.



this is quite a ramble.



it's too early and i'm too tired.



Phantom Planet - "Lonely Day"

today we discussed life after death in philosophy. and i think i've found the solution.

looks like the big guy ain't too happy about this movie.



i feel displaced.



but that's not really right cos that would mean i had a place.



another lesson-free friday, and i'm wondering what i should do. of course the obvious option would be to study. and i have this feeling that i'll just end up wasting my day in my room doing nothing staring at this computer screen for hours. and perhaps taking another wasteful nap.



it's the same old problem. not doing what i set out to do here. or at least trying.



i think that one thing i've gained from here so far is confidence. but i think i'll just fall back into singaporean attitudes and strides pretty soon after i get back. another faceless automaton in our economic machinery. of course if i return with a different attitude, people are just gonna think i'm being a banana and all in-your-face with Overseas Study Syndrome. as usual i think i'll face it with the same old attitude that i had. i'll try not to give a damn.



i want to watch kill bill.



i want to catch up with music. i want a big cd store with listening stations. i miss borders.

another slow day on the news front.

well i handed up my philo essay. it's finally over and done with. but not before making me fall sick. think it's the lack of sleep and the stress (you'd better believe it). i actually spent about a week on this essay. and still i think its quite crap. oh well, will only know once it gets back to me. hopefully soon. and i wondered why uni students can spend so much time on their work. sigh.



exams in 3 weeks. and it's pretty scary how much i have to go over. and i have so little time. and all i do is feel tired nowsadays. maybe it's the sickness. i hope it's just the sickness.



small stories has got a new story up. and it looks like it's gonna be a long one again. it's up in instalments. so check it out if you guys have the time and the interest.



the english students are outside my door and having pizza. the smell is coming into my room. god i'm so hungry.



no one at home will ever believe i'm this hardworking here.

"Most people don't even talk about it let alone care. I cannot fathom a life without the arts. By that same token, most of my friends cannot fathom why I enjoy going to art exhibitions or watching foreign art house films. For many, it's really a waste of money and time; precious time better off spent thinking of ways to make money. Unless of course it's free..."



- Michelle Chang, "Singapore Jam and The End of PASSION.", An interview with BigO.





read the interview here.



also, three more links down at the left of this page. check them out.





it's been a sucky few days. besides the gig at the tavern and my friend invading my room one night to hang out, it's been a real chore just to even get through the day (and night). what with all the impending deadlines and exams looming right there in front of me, not even around the corner. i see it all too clearly. and i know the guilt that follows all too well. i gotta really get my act together if i want to avoid that which haunts me, and threatens to haunt me even more.



am currently listening to the get up kids on my headphones plugged into the computer. trying to clear my head and relax a little before i get down to my philosophy essay yet again. stayed up most of last night in a quite futile attempt to get the better part of my readings done. but i did do quite a lot of it and understand quite a bit more than i did previously. so i guess that's better than nothing.



everything is always "better than nothing". but "better than nothing" is always never enough.



another sunday morning. another day shot to hell. another day to waste.



i'm going to be 22 soon.



it's been a sucky few days.

i went to check out screamfeeder at the tavern today. that's the university pub. and man was i glad i went. screamfeeder are excellent! me and yu were the only chinese there. we represented big time cos we sat way in the front of the place. it wasn't crowded at all. i was seriously happy even though my ears rang for a long time afterwards. i was a happy peppy boy. was tempted to tear off one of the posters of them around the uni and get them to sign it. but i was too lazy to.



here's something cool to look at. man i miss so many of these. chekkit! oh and for a cool theme song. find the 'wuzzles' link and click on it.

tomorrow there is a national education strike supposedly all across australia against national education reforms. some lessons have been cancelled and stuff. but not all. and everyone's encouraged to strike out against the reforms. there's some demonstration going on in the city in the afternoon and the highway leading to the school is going to be picketed up by strikers.



what am i going to do tomorrow?



i'm going to go for whichever of my lessons that haven't been cancelled and i'm gonna hand up my linguistics assignment.



and i'm hoping there will be no news reporters lurking in school or angry strikers trying to force me to strike too. i want to go to class. and i don't want to be deported.



well, i tried to hold a rally in school tomorrow. but i didn't manage to get much (any) support at all for my protest against the english literature essay questions we got a few weeks back.



oh well.

here in my hall, the sprinkler system for the greenery switches on at around 2 o'clock in the warmer seasons.



right now, the sprinklers are on.



there is one right outside my window.



the noise it is making is fucking irritating.



i want to sleep.



sigh.

the inevitable has happened.



i have finally taken my fan out and plugged it in and switched it on.



it's getting really stuffy and warm.



ugh.

what the fuck.

one shot of the fireworks from my friends cam. they were all fired from this wagon thing in the middle of the field. wondered why it didn't explode or something. would've been more spectacular.



anyway.



new photos up. very blah stuff. don't fall asleep looking at them.



it's a nice sunny day. spring is probably officially here.



i feel like sleeping.



ugh.

it's the last day of spring break today.



ok wait a minute, i just realised something. isn't spring break supposed to be full of chicks in biks and flashing their boobies for no apparent reason? what the fuck have i been doing this past two weeks?!



oh well there's always next year. i'll be back in the summer, and i don't think there'll be any flashing in singapore (you think?).



i've done minimal work, i've slacked maximumly. i am a normal student.



i am a normal student starting to sense the guilt that lays in store for me for not working hard.



i gotta get crackin'.

went to the perth royal show a few nights ago and it was pretty fun. it was so corny storybook movie carnival like. like a mixture of carnivals you see in movies and the type of country side fairs you read in storybooks by enid blyton. and that was what made it fun. there were farm animals and stuff and games and candy and a baking competition and fireworks and bike stunts. the fireworks were cool cos i don't get to see them so up close back home, and it's those cool types not like the ones set off every national day full of pyrotechnic pomp. it was a cool night. didn't buy anything or play any games cos it was pretty ex and they already charged admission. its a pretty big fair.



as i woke up this morning, i opened my door to go to perform my morning ablutions and as i glanced at my door, i noticed someone had scrawled something on the attached whiteboard (every door has one) with a red marker.



"I have sex with men"



i wondered who it was, thinking it was my friend who lives along the same corridor. but then i noticed that it's the same crappy marker the english exchange students use. basically these two students. so i have narrowed it down to richard or toby who live opposite me. but anyway they're cool people and i sometimes talk cock to them so it's all cool. so what i did was i rubbed out the "I' and the "n". so if you guys are smart enough, you'll realise whats left.



oh, and last night on my floor, some schmendrick set off the smoke alarm by trying to heat something up in the microwave still wrapped in aluminium foil. what a genius. and there's even a notice next to the microwave with warnings and guidelines of how to use the microwave. the fire brigade came down and the hall was fined $1000 cos they already had come down on two earlier occasions and they were also false alarms. but the good thing was, i wasn't in my room at the time so i didn't have to get out and go through the fire drill. when i heard of it, my first reaction naturally was ohmygod is it my room that's on fire? then i was thinking, fuck i should've switched off my laptop. but then, it wasn't me. good for me then.



yeah, yeah, i know you suckers are thinking, "damn! why didnt he perish in a fire?!". well too bad. i'm still alive and i'll be back soon so chill the champagne and polish the flutes alright?







please?





...bitches.

jillian (12:01 AM) :

thanks pal I HATE KIDS

eightysix (12:02 AM) :

ill buy you one

jillian (12:03 AM) :

SHADDUP I FERAKIGN HATE IKDS WAS CHASED OFF BEACH BY THEM I HATE HATE HATE FAT WHITE KDIS

jillian (12:04 AM) :

i fucking hate kids

eightysix (12:04 AM) :

why so vulgar??

jillian (12:05 AM) :

I AHTE KDIDS THAT WHY

eightysix (12:05 AM) :

shocking.





happy childrens' day kids. remember, jiwwo loves you.

i just found out that i can upload stuff without getting charged! coolness. therefore i have uploaded a buncha pictures of my room here. check them out.



and also, i just got my hair cut by a friend here. she's done a pretty decent job and now i'm sideburnless (i bet you guys are happy) and i look younger and more guai. i'd upload a pic but i returned the digicam to my friend already. perhaps another time.



i'm getting fatter. shit.

jillian (10:41 AM) :

yes layiys

eightysix (10:44 AM) :

is that supposed to be my name you skanky ho

jillian (10:44 AM) :

yep i t sure is







for frickin' cryin' out loud, jiwwo.

here are lots of photos of the rottnest trip,and other stuff with me in it, on my friend, raymond's, photo album site.

check it out

i'm back from rottnest. actually i got back yesterday, but i was so bushed that i didn't really do anything. a bunch of us walked the island the whole afternoon, getting drenched and then getting blown dry by the freezing wind repeatedly. the weather was wonky as hell. but it was kinda worth it cos the views were really quite fantastic. the ferry ride there was hell cos the ocean was choppy and it was like an amusement park ride. and those of you who know me well enough will know that i don't do that kind of thing. so i spent the whole ferry ride, half a fucking hour of it, curled up in a tight ball wedged against the ferry wall hiding my face in my sweater and crying out for the ride to stop. it was that bad. some of them thought i was fooling around, but believe you me, i was ready to jump off the ferry. that was how much i wanted it to stop. after the ride, i was totally exhausted cos i was all tensed up the whole time. kinda like my wisdom teeth extraction ordeal. everyone felt like puking. but no one did, cos everyone feared the consequence (getting teased mercilessly forever and ever after) so everyone just did the bestest to keep everything in. the ferry ride back was much better (thank god. i was all prepared to stay on the island forever or swim the 20 kilometres back.) cos the ocean was calm the next day.



well it's the day after i got back and my right ankle is still hurting from all that traipsing around the place. i got a whole buncha photos but i can't really upload them now cos of data transfer charges. maybe i'll go to a friend's place to do it or i'll just do it when i get back home. come to think about it, i'm coming home pretty soon. i'm already past the halfway mark, i think.



we had a barbecue during our night on the island. there was lots of food, but it was quite crap compared to the stuff that i'm usually used to eating at barbecues. man i missed the good ol' barbecues back home especially when i read about ted's farewell on cong's blog. that night, 24 of us squeezed in the villa meant for 8 people and grabbed a little sleep. it isn't as cramped as it sounds. there was enough space for everyone which is pretty amazing. i think maybe ang moh living quarters are bigger in general to accomodate the ang moh physique and us chinky people take up less space in their spaces. but perhaps it's also cos they have much more land to use. this sure ain't no dingy little east coast chalet.



still don't feel like doing any work yet. still in a holiday mood. don't think that's too good considering i have two major essays to hand in immediately after the holidays. think i should get crackin' soon.

going to rottnest island tomorrow. gotta wake up early. it looks like a nice place so i'm hoping the weather lets up. i think it's somewhat like a sentosa of perth (but i hope it's not as sad as sentosa back home).



oh and if you were wondering, i made it through the veggie thing. it wasn't that bad, though i did feel more tired and felt a lil' faint the first night. i think i'm just weak.



tip for those who'd want to try it out: don't forget to eat your carbohydrates, or you will just die.



i had the best meal so far on friday night at a chinese restaurant called Uncle Billy's in the chinatown-ish area at Northbridge. i was a happy boy that night.



ok gotta go pack my stuff and spend the rest of the night wondering if i missed anything out.

today is the first day of my 3 day veggie diet stint. just thought i'd try out going vegetarian for a while. initially i wanted to do it for a week, but now i've got 2 girls on this thing with me also and we decided to do it for 3 days. cos end of this week there's a food fest thing and they got a barbeque to attend.



after one day of not eating meat, i feel kinda weird. my stomach feels bloated (i tried to fill myself up with fruits and veg and bread) but it still feels empty. i didn't think i'd really feel that much of an effect cos in the army i've gone for days without proper food.



i think my body's just getting used to the lack of meat. so i guess i will be fine after a while.



now i need to get through this night.

eightysix (12:15 AM) :

how i know.

its usually the case what.

im the returning prodigal son.

everyone will have gone on with their lives and my life will be left in oz.

eightysix (12:16 AM) :

id have to work as a free lance deejay in centro or something

mother heroic (12:16 AM) :

is your father throwing a grand banquet for you then? will he put a ring upon your finger?

eightysix (12:16 AM) :

will he allow me to kiss the ring upon his little finger and call myself his son.

mother heroic (12:17 AM) :

why not.

mother heroic (12:17 AM) :

afterall you've come from faraway lands.

eightysix (12:17 AM) :

will i not be bequeathed with the family fortunes and a stable of well bred horses to groom and nurture.

mother heroic (12:21 AM) :

what will you be left with then, seriously.

mother heroic (12:22 AM) :

dry bread and lentil soup?

eightysix (12:22 AM) :

a tattered photocopy of the mortgage to the family estate and three magic beans.

eightysix (12:24 AM) :

one which will be eaten by our prized steed. two of which will be tossed into the fields beside the kallang river.

eightysix (12:25 AM) :

of the two, one will be eaten by a passing minstrel and he will die from it.

the remaining one will plant itself deep into the soil and grow shoots where various indie band names will be printed on the underside of its leaves.

eightysix (12:26 AM) :

and for generations to come, any fledgling band with a desire for indie rock success will come to pluck humbly at its leaves for their given name, their blessed given name.

eightysix (12:27 AM) :

now it is time for me to have some luncheon.

seeya.

mother heroic (12:27 AM) :

haha bye.

i.am.so.jealous.

i saw two kookaburras yesterday.



they weren't laughing.

went to elizabeth's secondhand bookshop in subiaco today. it doesn't look so spiffy like in the picture if you see the link. imagine it looking a little more "secondhand-bookshoppish". you know, darker and mustier and fustier. it's one cool place to be at. i practised quite a bit of restraint today and didnt buy any books. the other day i bought about 5, and it amounted to less than ten bucks. whatta deal.



anyway, i went out cos as i said in the previous post, i've been studying the past week. and now the desire to slack and do nothing is hella great. and also, it was such a nice and sunny day today. totally not the kind of day you spend cooped up indoors in your room at hall.



anyways i'm still pretty much struck with wanderlust and restlessness. so wondering what to do tonight. though the obvious answer is to do my work for next week.



oh well.

the horror that is my econs mid-term exam is over.



it is time to fucking party.



now let me sit in my room and consider the myriad of possibilities that lie before me.

1. sit in my room and do nothing.

2. go to the blue room to try to play the piano again.

3. sit in my room and not study (there is a difference. i have been studying the whole week. well, almost.).

4. go out to town tonight since it is friday and shops close later in the city on fridays. and i want to get the cds i've been aiming since two weeks ago.



well i guess there's one good possibility there. i hope it works out.

i just watched this year's ndp in the tv room in hall with some of the gang.



it seemed pretty nice this year. i don't know whether it's cos i can't really remember how it was last year or it's cos i'm here and not at home.



i enjoyed it more this time round. the light displays during the latter segments were really pretty.



watching the parade, i remembered something. during my first two weeks here, i had the immense good fortune to run into Ong Kim Seng, probably the top watercolourist in singapore. the first time i saw him, he was walking around the school compound with his friends and i kept on looking at him and he smiled back. the second time, he and his friends were seated on small stools, concentrating on the paintings in front of them. this time, when he glanced up and saw me, i waved at him and said hi. later i went up to them and looked at their paintings. the third and final time i ran into him, it was in a same area and me and yu were on our way to school to do something. i dragged yu with me to them and i said hi and eventually started up a conversation with him and his friends. he seemed surprised and a little disappointed that i could recognise him, to which his friend told him in mandarin,"You see Mr Ong, you are a national treasure. Everywhere you go there will be people that will recognise you."



the conversation was pretty interesting and fun. his friend did most of the talking. he had some strong views on singapore and its leaders. Mr Ong didn't really share his views but it was all good cos they were good friends, you could tell. me and yu hung around with them for quite a while and eventually i said that we had to go do our stuff in school. we left them to their painting.



it was really cool to meet him. all the more so that i'm meeting him here in perth. which is a pretty good thing in a way cos if i had run into him in singapore, i'm pretty damn sure that i would have never have gone up to him to say hi and talk to him.



yeah well, that was saturday night for me here. pizza and a tape recording of the ndp.

the time has come.



i think i'm actually falling sick. well hope it's just a dry throat from waking up and nothing more. there seems to be a bug going round the place here anyways. quite a few people catching it. i'll try to lay low and avoid it.



just wrote my first proper essay in about three years yesterday. and i realised to my horror that my vocab and writing skills have almost disappeared after the time in army. i kinda got back the hang of writing. but geezuz my vocab is in shambles. i wonder how i can do anything about it.



it's a pretty relak day today since i've done my work for the week. less work this week. but econs mid-terms are this coming friday. gad.



guess i'd better do some studying.



bah.

man, it's been storming the past few days. got caught in the rain yesterday, and it was freezing.



my english tutor is in singapore for some short story competition and some other thing. her name's gail jones. maybe you guys may hear of her or see her even. she's a nice person.



this week has been pretty uneventful as usual. and also pretty slack. i have one less assignment this week. but have an essay due on monday.



on a more interesting note, so far two girls (at least, that i can remember) have asked me if i am gay. and interestingly enough, they're both from STC. jiwwo,reg, is there something about your school that i didn't know about?

hello ladies. time for some announcements.



first up, the new Dashboard Confessional album is out, "A Mark A Mission A Brand A Scar". it's a CD/DVD pack but DVDs are while stocks last so hurry out to get it to get a load of Chris Carraba's sideburns.



and next, we have the new release from Sigur Ros, called "Sigur1/Sigur9". and guess what boys, this one's a CD/DVD release too. with no apparent while stocks last teaser.



alright that's all i got for ya this time. check them out.



you do realise that i'm putting this up cos i want these albums for myself, right?

another boring night in my room.



i ran into my neighbour, matthew from england, on the way up to my room just now. i asked him what he was gonna be doing this saturday night, i myself wondering what the heck i was going to do, he replied, "i'm going to sit in my room and grow my beard. Mmm!"



so much for the nightlife here.

the protest is over.

illustration of a car crash.

i've been here for about 3 weeks now. and i'm starting to miss the food back home. the other night the dining hall served wanton mee(i can't remember how they fucked the spelling of 'wanton' up) as one of the two choices offered and i hesitated to take it, not wanting to spoil my memory of the dish back home. but i also couldn't resist at least trying it to see what it tasted like. so with a deep breath and a heavy sigh, i took it and went to find a seat.



it wasn't too bad. well, it wasn't that bad. just to be able to feel the strands of mee kia in my mouth was almost enough to make me think that it was authentic. but of course that certain something is always missing when you're overseas and eating food that is supposed to be food from home. it doesn't taste like home.



i'm not missing singapore that much yet i suppose. perhaps cos there are like hundreds of other singaporeans here around the place. people here are friendlier, or at least they seem to be.



last night, i went to this late night bubble tea place with a bunch of friends. they played videos of taiwanese variety shows on a big screen tv. they had a chinese comic book section. and they also had a lan gaming section. it was a pretty nice place and even though i usually am not a big fan of bubble tea, the glass of it that i had was kinda nice and comforting.



a few people have been asking me if there are any gatherings or celebrations here by the singaporeans. well, there are but i'm not going to them. not that i can't be bothered about the event but i don't know where they're held and no one i know around me is going. we've been talking about it and no one really knows what to do to commemorate the day, which is a little pathetic when you really think about it. [add your own thoughts about identity and belonging here.]



oh well.



happy national day ya morons.

someone save me from this boredom.

there always comes a time when something that has never happened before happens. and this time it is this.



today i had my econs tutorial. and it sucked. why? because i was more prepared than the tutor, and the answers i had prepared were much longer than those that he gave us.



this is the first time i'm feeling dissatisfied with econs got i didn't get the verification i wanted for my answers. goddamn it, i prepared for this one and this happens? gimme a break man.



ms lim, can you hear me? i prepared for my econs! i swear i did! i even used one whole piece of paper for each question and didn't just scribble some one-liner and draw an unlabelled graph. you could've asked me to present the question on the whiteboard and i would've slayed the class!



bah.

another chilly morning.



somehow this is already getting a little monotonous.

the time for a resurrection is near.

it always rains on mondays.

i just finished my econs tutorial!



now for the other work in my other units.



i wonder what's for lunch.

i'm lucky to get the sun shining in my window throughout the day if the weather is right.



some mornings when i wake up, the sun's rays will be falling across my body. and i will shift around so that my head will be under the sun's shine. it's a really nice, fuzzy feeling to be dozing under the sunshine on a winter's morning. and it's really hard to get up when its sunny and i'm in the sun.



around noon, the sun will be shining into my room from directly in front of my window. so that a neat rectangle of the sunlight will be cast upon the area of the floor closer to the window and that's where i sit. so i will be sitting in the glare and it can get reallly warm. but it's also really comfortable and sometimes i just sit in the sun reading or stoning or dozing even when i'm not sleepy.



the evenings will cast orange beams across my table and computer. and it gets hard to see what's on my computer screen. but i sometimes stare at the rays of light instead of what's showing on my screen.



i hope summer doesn't come too soon.

maybe i shouldn't have taken econs after all. i tried to do my tutorial assignment and all those old feelings of bewilderment and confusion came back. ms lim, where are you to scream at me with your beaming face turning into a mask of blind fury at the snap of the fingers.



oh away! away with thee! macroeconomics and thine fiscal and monetary policies and fluctuations and graphs. thy minions of suffering are succeeding well in creating the dark periods of my days and nights.



in other more succinct words, fuck you econs.

i'm sorry to whoever it is but 'bitch', i got no idea who you are. clue me in dude.

nothing depresses me like a pseudo-formal event with boring entertainment.

take the indie cred quiz here yo.

i am a happy boy cos i found almond roca at an english candy shop in some town somewhere south of perth, i just had one. and i have three left. must ration and savour.

somehow tonight passed by faster than any other night here so far. i think i'm as good as settled down already. not academic-wise though cos tutorials have not started yet for me. so waiting for the onslaught of assignments and thousand word essays that i always hear about.



wish you all were here.

every morning i sit in my room in dread of going to take a shower.



the worst part of everyday is when you get in the shower and take all your clothes off and wait for the water to be hot enough. then those antagonising seconds you spend trying to get the water to the right temperature. it is hell.



at least i'm lucky enough to get the sun shining into my room throughout the day.



ok off to shower. give me strength.

i was attacked by a bird yesterday. i still have not figured out what type of bird it is. but it looks like a magpie or a crow or a dove.



i was walking back to my hall and this bird was in my way in front of the door so i just walked towards it. it stared at me. and then when i got too close it flew up in the air and hovered round my head and flapped its wings. i said,"ni na bei!" and ran into the building with a good mind to complain to the office.



today i saw an angmoh being attacked by the same type of bird. again the bird was just standing there and when the angmoh guy got too close it flew up and hovered round his head making intimidating pecking movements and flapping its wings. the angmoh said,"shit!" and clapped his hands at the bird when it finally flew away.



at least the bird isn't racist.

man it's freezing again as usual. when the sun goes down, everything just freezes. it's saturday night and i'm gonna be going out for dinner with the guys i hang out with and maybe for drinks later. cos there's precious little else to do around heres. hope everyone is fine back home. i am gonna go put on a sweater and my jacket now and head out.

hey wassup my peeps. my net connection is finally up after spending today hounding the student internet service counter guy. anyways to keep it short. here's a little something i made up the past few nights to keep me occupied. just go here and click next to see the next page and so on.



ok it has come to my attention that some of you idiots (ie jillian) dont understand the concept of clicking next. so here is the low down. when you click the link, a new window will appear. and when it appears, there will be a picture. above the picture there will be a toolbar. and on that toolbar, are situated two arrows, one pointing left and one pointing right, on the right end of it. the arrow pointing right, when clicked, will bring you to the next page. comprendo?



some people shouldn't be allowed to use the internet.

first day of orientation is over. it is the coldest day yet so far. for those who know its almost like the coldest uk day.



my internet connection isn't up yet. i'm using yu's one right now.



im in a temporary room assigned to me so far cos there is some conference going on now and the people are staying in my actual room. i probably can get my connection on this friday or so. so wait for it suckas. i'm gonna be back to haunt all of you again.

on my way home just now, i bumped my forearm into a spoiler of a red ferrari, and it still smarts now. i swear i will never buy a ferrari as long as i live, or put spoilers on any car i ever own (cos i hate spoilers anyway, i aint never gonna go flying off the damn road.). or if i am rich enough, i will buy a red ferrari with spoilers and a not too unwieldy sledgehammer.



or maybe i'll just buy that sledgehammer now.

achewood rawks yo.

i can't fucking believe all this fucking bullshit.

ho boy big day out 2004 has been confirmed and the line up is quite rawkin'. but it's on 2nd feb in perth, and i got this feeling i have to be here for chinese new year. but whoah whatta rush, i actually have the opportunity to go to a rock festival. foo fighters, QOTSA, JEW, p j harvey, deftones... what a trip out.

i can't make it for this year's zoukout. now this really depresses me to high hell.

i wish i could make it for this year's baybeats. it's depressing me no end that i can't go.

everytime i check up a word in the dictionary i either find another word i don't know soon afterwards or see another one i don't know in the explanation of the original word i was looking up or another word i don't know in the same page. and then i keep looking up more and more words and start panicking cos i know so little and eventually i give up cos i can never remember all of the words i look up in this hopeless cycle. and then i start to get depressed cos i don't understand so much of what's around me. what a crock.

the rain has come lately. and it stings.



and what better to do while it pours then to rock out to some "Pinkerton". it never goes stale. but amidst my rockin' out i get a call up from w. to accompany him to acquire some technology. and of course i went. what's a little goddamn pelting rain when i get to scope out some new technology, and also i was sick of staying at home doing basically nothing. i showered, put on some 'construction site wear' and headed out.



at the place i came upon one of the top 5 ugliest hairstyles i have ever seen. but as i've only got two hairstyles i can remember as being really incredifuckingbly bad, this one is no. 2 on the charts. i couldn't take my eyes offa her. then later me and w. realised that she had matched her ensemble with her hair. baby she was the shit. i didn't mention it at the time, but she reminded me of chan ee mein.



and then we wandered to an enclosed area and had to scan our ICs. but seeing that only i had possession of my IC(the real thing not the other shite. you know what i mean.), i was the only one who scanned it and w. had to fill up his particulars in the foreigners' folder. then i stumbled upon the coolest card scanner this SARS weary country has to offer. when i placed my card under the red beam, the sound emitted from it was a futuristic "tziu!" you know what i mean boys, it's the sound we made when we were little kids (and even now) when we wanted to aurally signify how fast something was moving or how totally realistic our laser blasters were. as an added perk, i got to scan my card again when we got out of the area. what a blast!



i so felt like going back in the area again just to scan my card.



anyways, now complications have cropped up and w. may have to go back to the place. maybe i'll go back with him just to scan my card again.

this is a flyer i made for ted last night. for some tuition agency work.







and here's the alternate version of it. y'know, just in case.

"quis custodiet ipsos custodes"

this morning was the second morning in a row that i was awakened by a storm.



it was particularly vicious this morning. i remember being broken out of the hold of sleep by a crack of thunder so loud it resonated, ringing in the air, together with a few car alarms set off by the lightning. a cacophonic morning chorus of the natural and the artificial. i snapped my eyes open, in the same moment confused by the sound and realising what the sound was. i turned to face my windows and flashes of lightning illuminated my room. i felt a kind of drowsy unconsidered fear, that i might be struck by the lightning, because the thunder was so loud that i thought it was the sound of something being struck, of a building falling.



the day before i was awakened by the sound of my door slamming, sucked shut by the wind forcing its way through my windows. like this morning, i spent a few seconds in that slightly dazed stupor of a just woken person wondering what was happening. then i shut my blurry eyes and went back to sleep.



that was what i tried to do this morning, i tried to turn away and go back to sleep. but this time the storm was more urgent and the thunder more pressing. so i didn't.



because i couldn't.

so this is it.

happy birthday rivers.

i didn't draw any comic these couple of days cos i've been engrossed in the game Jedi Outcast. i'm not normally that much of a gamer but nothing beats being able to wield a lightsaber. it's a lightsaber c'mon! but for those who know the address, i put up something new at my photosite yesterday.



lightsabers kick ass.



anyway for those who can be bothered, Mr T was on channel i just now in Rocky III. know how in every Rocky film there's one boxer that Sylvester Stallone must beat? like how in every few weeks channel 5 must show Die Hard, Con-Air, or any of those movies? yeah, Mr T was that boxer in this one. "Dontchoo turn yo' back on me sucka!".



Mr T kicks ass.



If Mr T had a lightsaber he'd be the head boot knocka anywhere. yo.

cheeks like a hamster's.

left and right respectively,

hold dinner and lunch

i made it through the night. and the bleeding has lessened considerably. but my cheeks have also puffed up considerably. thank god the bleeding has lessened and i hope it doesn't increase. i am so sick of having the taste and smell of blood in my mouth. it felt really good this morning when i brushed my teeth and rinsed my mouth with mouthwash, though i was dreading brushing my teeth, afraid of what unknown pain it might bring. but it's hardly 15 minutes later and im starting to taste the sickly trickle of blood in my mouth again. oh well.



i guess in a condensed version of the female crimson tide, yesterday was the heavy flow and the most blood was lost and it felt like shit. today would be the easing off of the bloodflow and i am feeling much better than yesterday cos: 1) there is less blood and 2) i'm kinda getting used to it. and i know that when it all ends i am going to have the strongest craving arising out of the whole ordeal, for lots of hard wood...oops i meant solid food.



of course that example could possibly and probably not hold true cos i have a premonition of another heavy flow period(harhar so punny) anytime from now, cos my hope is thin and my luck is seldom good.



i gave all my wisdom teeth, which were packaged neatly in a tiny ziploc bag and handed to me immediately after the op(i'm guessing to shock me into silence, though my whole mouth was so numb and i wouldn't have been able to form words anyway), a good brush and wash after i brushed my teeth today. i even swirled them around in some oral-b "to reduce plaque build-up" and so that the "refreshing mint flavour" will keep them "feeling fresh and clean". i'm caring too much for teeth not in my mouth. think it's time to rethink my priorities.



well, they're now sitting in a cup drying out. and i'm wondering what to do with them. these possibilities came to my mind: 1) leave them for the tooth fairy, 2) wear them on a necklace or 3) for those who know, give them to lee song seng. i still haven't decided and would probably just keep them in a box, though gene's suggestion of drawing a smiley face on the biggest tooth and keeping it next to my toothbrush as a reminder of my pain is a pretty cute idea.



any suggestions?

i am bleeding to death.

now the stitches in my mouth are the only thing that is causing me a whole lotta hurt. i'm just glad i didn't have to pay cos it's covered by the SAF, and that i took out all 4 at once. cos i never want to go through this again.



...never again.

well i went to the dental clinic after all. after being compelled to do so by a phone call from my mother.



and i'm going to get my wisdom teeth removed this thursday. all 4 of them. i am worried for my well-being cos i have a low threshold for pain.



anyone got any wisdom tooth removal stories to share?

we're off the list. and there was a downpour this morning after all this heat. when i stuck my head out the kitchen window, it felt like an air conditioned room. it's been so long that i can't remember the last time i smelled cold air. air in shopping centres don't count.



i was supposed to go do something this morning. but after sticking my head out of the window, i feel more like going back to sleep.

i feel so fucking tired.

consumerised



i went to my first John Little friday sale today.



people were grabbing and feeling and rummaging and groping and comparing and pushing and shoving and jostling and trying and queueing.



and everyone had shopping bags full of bargains.



and customers and sales staff were out in full force.



...and i joined in the madness.



and boy am i beat.

i can't believe so many people don't know who Mr T is.

happy birthday Mr T.

how to get someone stubborn to see your site:

eightysix (12:42 AM) :

eh

jillian (12:42 AM) :

hello! yes?

eightysix (12:42 AM) :

hows you

jillian (12:43 AM) :

full

YOU?

jillian (12:44 AM) :

hello hello

eightysix (12:44 AM) :

what you eat?

eightysix (12:44 AM) :

im eaiting now

jillian (12:44 AM) :

hmm rice

wat u eating?

eightysix (12:45 AM) :

what did you eat.

why do you always seem to be sSSSOOOO FFUUUUUULLLLLL

jillian (12:45 AM) :

ahhahahaha cos yu always catch ,me at bad time

eightysix (12:45 AM) :

so have you seen my blog lately

eightysix (12:45 AM) :

cos ive lost it and i cant find it

jillian (12:45 AM) :

eh? no[e!

eightysix (12:46 AM) :

could you help me find it

jillian (12:46 AM) :

hmmmm i cant help you there wat

eightysix (12:47 AM) :

please could you help me find my site

jillian (12:48 AM) :

hwo to help you?

jillian (12:48 AM) :

wheres your blog anwyay

eightysix (12:48 AM) :

i dont know i cant find it

eightysix (12:48 AM) :

tts why im asking you help me find it

jillian (12:48 AM) :

thats so weird how come can not find it one

eightysix (12:49 AM) :

i lost it

eightysix (12:49 AM) :

help me find it

jillian (12:49 AM) :

so weird

jillian (12:49 AM) :

cant lah how to

eightysix (12:49 AM) :

go the address see if you can find it

eightysix (12:49 AM) :

i cant

jillian (12:50 AM) :

wat add

jillian (12:50 AM) :

i bet this is a trickl

eightysix (12:50 AM) :

www.thebackupplan.blogspot.com

eightysix (12:50 AM) :

i cant find it

jillian (12:50 AM) :

I SAW IT AND THIS IS A TRICK

it wasn't supposed to be a trick initially but since she kept on vehemently insisting that it was, i just carried on.





you know i love you jiwwo darling.

star wars 7, 8, 9 and probably more.

this is the real homobros. just something for all those who know what i'm talking about.



and this sounds really gnaarrly duuude!

i've been spending quite a bit of time complaining how bored i am and how i've got nothing to do now that i'm home so much. and i've been toying with the idea of getting some kind of job. preferably one that doesn't need that much of a commitment, since i don't have much time left here anyway.



well i've managed to find out about a couple, one thanks to jo who's always so nice and also a spiritual role model to some. and this other one which i think wouldn't be too much of a change of scene for me.



hmm...i'm still quite undecided. where's my old hymnbook?

one for all you christians out there. the total multimedia christian experience.



and also, the most irritating cursor-following script in the world.

talking about frufru tees:

eightysix (3:37 PM) :

BAH I WANT FRUFRU TEES

mother heroic (3:38 PM) :

KANAH WITH THIS FONT I MAKE FOR YOU LAH.

eightysix (3:38 PM) :

i dont fucking want the logo can

i want all the other tees besides the logo tee

mother heroic (3:39 PM) :

hmph.

i want them all.

political schmolitical.

i feel traumatised.



there was a huge blaze in the kitchen this morning. the stove caught fire.



everything's alright now.



but boy, am i feeling traumatised.

i love the "Taxi" theme. it is one of the best themes ever.



especially when the keyboardish instrument kicks in and then the horns and then the flute outtro. man, it kills me.



it really, really slays me.



i wonder if i can find it on kazaa.

does anyone know how come when you place something oily in a clear plastic bag, you know those kind of mini ones they use for take-away drinks, the outside of the bag eventually also becomes oily-feeling? does the oil seep through?



it boggles my mind.

i must say i enjoy watching the animated Mr. Bean series more than the original Mr. Bean series.



i'm not saying it's funny.



i just like watching it more.

from a channel 5 advertisement celebrating their 40th year:



"Hi! I'm Sharon Au. I grew up watching Channel 5! Dinch you?"






don't you lie, sharon.

don't ask me why i'm up. cos i don't know either.



listening to System Of A Down's debut album cos there is a certain line i want to hear Serj spit.



"Don't you realise, that evil, lives in the motherfucking skin."



that line's from the song "Soil". and it just ended.



why am i up?



...i don't know.

i am a green day album right now. the one which one of my friends called, "insomaniac".



someone throw me a lifeline here.

i tried posting a long long post about what happened to me during my medical check-up today. but blogger ate the post up.



and i dont have the energy nor am i in the mood to re-post.



damn you blogger.

ok i just read my last post and i realised that i was off the calendar by two days. i really don't know how i could've lost two days. that so far is certainly the most number of days i've lost just cos i didn't keep track of the date.



i gotta start looking at the calendar everyday. can't afford to lose any more time than i already have.

just a shout out that ozma's new album "spending time on the borderline" will be officially released tomorrow on may 6. if you noticed, this album has been under my "music" list on the left for quite some time now courtesy of gene. and im telling you, this baby is rockin'. i really really do not think you could get it in stores here anywhere(i've searched for previous albums) so the only way would be to do the ethical thing and pirate it off the net.



recommended tracks: "game over", "turtleneck coverup", "bad dogs", "eponine", "restart"



yeah that's like half the album, but that's how good it is. really.



and if you're still game, check out this track from a previous album "the doubble donkey disc", "korobeiniki". it's the tetris theme reworked by ozma.



because rock is important.

this morning i was awakened by screams. it took a while before i realised what was going on. that i was even actually awake.



all the noise was coming from the corner flat two flats away from mine. a little boy was screaming his lungs out, bawling and sobbing. i couldn't recognise his voice cos i didn't know there was a little boy living there. his grandmother was screaming at him too in hokkien to be quiet and the cacophony of the two was more than enough to wake up the whole neighbourhood, much less just me.



i woke up groggy and lay in my bed listening. my mother, as i was guessing, would go over and give him some sweets or something else that's appealing to appease his cries. and as i saw my mother bustling to the door i got up to see what she was doing. there was an ice cream lolly on the table. and she took that over for the boy.



he didn't make a fuss anymore after that.



when my mother came back i asked her what was going on and she told me that the little boy is dumb, as in he can't speak...



...i just got interrupted by my mother who wanted me to help her pluck some bean sprouts. i know that that doesn't sound like what i was actually doing, but i've been saying that since i was young and i guess it's pretty clear to most people around here what i was doing...



anyway.



the boy was dumb, so his screams were kinda guttural and primal, so it's a little disconcerting hearing it so early in the morning. but it didn't make me cringe, it only made me feel a little sad thinking of how they didn't know why he was crying.



my mother told me to go back to sleep since that he was quiet now.



but of course i couldn't.



well at least now he's quiet and i hope contented.

i have crossed the lines and joined the ranks of pirates. and yeah it makes me happy.



it's been a pretty happening week. i've caught up with technology at last. and im starting to feel a little bit more in touch. only in the modern age can technology make you feel more alive. hope i don't lose touch with my past world skills. so far i've realised that my handwriting is starting to suck again. time to start scribbling more.

finally i've reached the home stretch. only a few more obstacles stand between me and the end now. i'm not feeling as relieved or as happy as i thought i would.



perhaps not yet. need to let the realisation sink in.



hope it's all smooth sailing from here to the finish line.

"So I didn't go to church in China. But sometimes when I saw a bird in the grass I dropped to my knees and marveled as it twitched there."

- Paul Theroux, "Riding the Iron Rooster"

i have a toothache.



actually its the bulge of swollen gum that partly covers my wisdom tooth that hurts.



like a bitch.



i haven't been eating that much because the pain that comes with the eating outweighs the hunger that i feel. even porridge feels too hard to put it in my mouth. thing is, i can't clench my teeth together. they're permanently apart and i keep my tongue in between them so that i won't clamp down and chomp on my swollen gum. yes i know that i might gnash my tongue instead but when the pain is so prevalent in my left cheek i'd risk another organ to prevent it.



as a result of my not being able to grit my teeth together, i look like i am pursing my lips or have a really large sweet in my mouth. and, i have to talk with the most horrible lisp. also because of my inability to express myself properly, for some reason my voice is deeper. like how when you are in no mood to talk and can't be bothered to move your lips.



it's a constant agony to be always hungry and in pain at the same time. it's always the battle between eat-and-wince or suffer-in-hunger. and whenever i give in to my stomach, eating makes it hurt so much that i do not finish what i'm eating and spend considerable time grimacing and frowning.



know the term gritting your teeth to take the pain? that doesn't apply here.



where's the novocaine?

i think for the past month and a half or so, i have spoken less than i have spoken in my recent life. well, it's not like i usually blabber on and on and shoot my mouth off incessantly, but i have kept to myself more than usual.



weirdly, i didn't feel depressed or down or whatever. i actually felt kind of peaceful, some sort of peaceful, not speaking so much. maybe its like how a vow of silence teaches you stuff like inner peace and all that. but this lack of vocal interaction with people i see everyday really just chills me out.



just laying back and taking in the experience without the need to vocalise what im thinking or what i want to say. it's a pretty good feeling.



but i don't think this would be as fun if my day to day routine is filled with drudgery and boredom. i think it'd get me pretty down and out.



very soon, my life will be filled with that kind of day to day drudgery and boredom, and i can't say i dont want it. need some sort of stability for a while.



guess i better talk a bit more now.

i've just come back from my little stint in the jungle and suddenly it seems that the war is over.



what the hell? this war felt like no-war to me. all over in about a month. all the showing by america. none by iraq. or at least that's what the newpapers are letting on this time.



well i can't comment much on this cos i wasn't really around the whole time it was raging in the middle east. maybe it was overshadowed by the SARS thing.



right now the terrorist threat that was on everyone's minds not so long ago seems too far away.

some people see green. some people see blue. me? i see blue.





anyways its about time i left. i just wanted to leave something here before i leave the house. some sort of a desperate shout out to make my presence known so that i won't feel like i've wasted my time out. it's turning out to be another hopelessly confusing, and rambling plea. think i better go.





here's something fun to read. Commander Kitty.

today as i was making some purchases, the cashier, a kindly, middle-aged malay man, told me, "No TV ah! Do homework!."



i smiled at him and walked off feeling slightly amused.



i dont blame the guy. i mean i was wearing my old school tee(as is old school uniform t-shirt and not some super trendy old school fashion piece). but this is the first time anyone has implied that i look younger than i am because ever since i was out of school, anyone who's had anything to say about how i look has said i look older than i am. i don't know whether to feel down about that or not.



i'm right now on a little break before i resume on with my course. i think it's kinda well-deserved. and it sure feels good to just laze and chill out at home after so long.



i don't have much time left around these parts.

after minimal snooping around i've managed to find out what a pon pon is...well at least what it could be.

click here to find out.

"If you kept the small rules you could break the big ones."

- George Orwell, "1984"

here's some music for the madness.



At The Drive-in - "Quarantined"



all together now, "A single spark can start an spectral fire!".

just when i thought the war was it, here comes an epidemic.



heres something to lighten the mood a little.

Saddam's Blog

i just bought a digital lock.



and on the packaging it says this:



Front:



Please press the "Pon Pon" in a concealed spot.

Just a push it will be unlocked.





Back:



Directions for use



UNLOCK WAY

1. Please make sure whether all the "Press Button" set up already.

2. Press your "Secret Number button" please.

3. Push the slide button which is underneath this combination lock and press it down. Then it will be O.K.



LOCK WAY

1. Press down the curve.

2. Just push up the back side button is O.K.







what the fuck.

Every once in a while i get handed reminders of how certain circumstances can be brought about with absolutely no warning at all. And there's nothing really that i can do about it. When everything blows up in my face and i'm left to fend for myself and make do with whatever i've got. Then i somehow tide through it and when it's over i realise it's not really that bad after all, just not a very pleasant feeling.



It sounds worse than it is, but it doesn't feel worse.



So as i told someone a while ago, you just gotta chill and heck.







What's your single most unshakeable belief?

This is a long drive for someone with nothing to think about.



And my mind is blank.



But it will be over soon.

"Hey."



"Hey, hi! I didn't see you coming in. When did you get here?"



"Oh, I was over there in the corner, looking over some of my notes. You know, the usual stuff."



"You still doing that thing? I thought you'd be done with that by now. Well, I mean I thought it wouldn't take that long."



"Nah, it's a whole new batch. So...yeah you know. Er...hey, did you catch the show last night?"



"Nope! I was busy with...you know, all my crap and stuff. I had to stay in to finish it all up. Well, at least try to finish it. As you can see I'm still not done yet."



"Oh...so you didn't see my...yeah it seems like you got a hell lot to do. Am i bothering you?"



"Nah, you're not. This stuff is just piling on me anyway so no matter how fast I work on it, I'll never be able to finish it. So...yeah. It's a real chore."



"Yeah...so did you hear about..."



"What? You mean them? Oh yeah I heard about it. It's...I don't know what to think really. It's just, you know...sad i guess."



"Yeah it kinda is. Do you know what happened?"



"Well...what I heard is that there's some other guy involved and you know the usual blah blah...etc."



"Oh, Ok. I didn't know that."



"Yeah, it's like...I don't know. I kinda feel for them but like, I'm like kinda resigned to it too. I mean, it's kinda like...well, us. You know...well, you know."



"Oh...wait didn't we talk about this already. We agreed that we won't let this affect...you know, us."



"Yeah, I know, I know. It's just...the similarities are there. You know what I mean."



"Yeah."



"...Yeah."



"So...Who's the other person? Do you know?"



"I don't really know the guy but I think I've seen him around before, somewheres."



"Really?"



"Yeah, and I heard that he's going for some course or something. Some kind of training, for like one and a half months. So, well I know this isn't very relevant. Just some stuff i heard you know. Yeah."



"A course? Oh...Ok. Hey, I gotta go now, need to meet erm...yeah I gotta meet someone. So...I'll see you some other time alright? Seeya."



"Yeah alright, bye!"



"Bye."



"Hey wait! I gotta ask you...something."



"...What? What is it?"



"Do you think that what they're doing is right? The other guy and her? Do you think they're right?"



"I...I don't know. Can we not...I'll talk to you some other day Ok?"



"Yeah alright, bye."



"Bye."





"...Bye."