i have a toothache.



actually its the bulge of swollen gum that partly covers my wisdom tooth that hurts.



like a bitch.



i haven't been eating that much because the pain that comes with the eating outweighs the hunger that i feel. even porridge feels too hard to put it in my mouth. thing is, i can't clench my teeth together. they're permanently apart and i keep my tongue in between them so that i won't clamp down and chomp on my swollen gum. yes i know that i might gnash my tongue instead but when the pain is so prevalent in my left cheek i'd risk another organ to prevent it.



as a result of my not being able to grit my teeth together, i look like i am pursing my lips or have a really large sweet in my mouth. and, i have to talk with the most horrible lisp. also because of my inability to express myself properly, for some reason my voice is deeper. like how when you are in no mood to talk and can't be bothered to move your lips.



it's a constant agony to be always hungry and in pain at the same time. it's always the battle between eat-and-wince or suffer-in-hunger. and whenever i give in to my stomach, eating makes it hurt so much that i do not finish what i'm eating and spend considerable time grimacing and frowning.



know the term gritting your teeth to take the pain? that doesn't apply here.



where's the novocaine?