Today Was A Real Fun Day





Today was a real fun day. Yes it was. I swear. In the morning I take the bus to school. At the bus-stop I chanced upon this cat. It was a really pretty cat that was kinda Siamese Gingerish. Its pedigree dad probably jumped in a sack with a stray moggy and it resulted in this weird pretty cat. That’s what you get when you let the cat out of the bag. They breed. Anyway, it looked at me kinda blankly and I said hi but it didn’t reply. I couldn’t believe how rude it was so I gave it some of the skittles I was eating. I like eating candy in the early mornings. It kills the germs in your mouth. Really, I swear. My Uncle Tobi told me so. I miss Uncle Tobi. Anyway, the cat gobbled up a mouthful consisting of two yellows and a green. Pretty soon it started making wheezing noises kinda like when you sock someone’s throat in. And it got all choked up and stuff and it puked out the crap in its mouth. It looked pretty pained after that so I decided to give it some more skittles. But this time I gave it a purple, a red, an orange and a green. It ate them up but it started wheezing again. It stopped soon after but by then it had decided to take a nap. The nerve of some animals. Seeing that it was not going to thank me for the candy I went to board my bus. On the bus I went to my usual seat as usual up next to the bus-driver. Now they want us to call them bus captains but I know better. They don’t even know what bus means. I like to sit next to the driver so that I can talk to him about the latest ‘Gotcha’ gags that I caught on the early morning reruns. Every morning the bus driver gives me the same puzzled reply of “bus pass”. I don’t understand how they can be so stupid. They probably don’t even know how to add the fares that people put in those fare bins. Anyway I got irritated and I pulled a quick one over him seeing how dumb he was. I distracted him with one of my amazing magic tricks and ran to the back of the bus. I don’t have to pay the bus fare when I do that. But of course I don’t because I have a bus stamp which I used to mail to SBS. Now that’s thinking. I make it a point to beat all the people on the bus to the bell just before they reach it. I get a big kick out of it. Especially when no one actually wants to get down. The bus driver usually turns around and yells at us but we all know it’s the primary three kid sitting next to me who’s at fault because I always look at him and shake my head disapprovingly. Kids are so dumb. After about six or twenty stops I decided to get off and bug the bus driver who’s driving the bus on the opposite route. I decided not to go to school after all. The other bus driver had never seen me before and it turned out that it was Moe Alkaff. So he got all my jokes about the gags on Gotcha although he shook his head quite a few times and seemed like he was going to cry when we talked about Gotcha. He said something about it not paying much and it being the cause of him having to drive buses now. I told him that it’s alright and I consoled him. I told him that such an intelligent show like Gotcha wouldn’t need him anyway and he’s perfect for the job of a bus driver since he’s so dumb and all. I always like to make people feel better. It’s good for the soul y’know.