so last night i was on my way back home from town. i'm in the bus and for some reason it's reached maximum capacity (or not. maybe just some morons near the back who aren't moving to the back). so i have to think small and stay really still in order to not get slapped with any lawsuits. so this guy sidles up to the pole which i'm holding onto and proceeds to lean against it, pressing his whole back onto the pole, getting comfortable settling against the goddamn pole and my hand.



now i'd like to take a moment here to say to all you goddamn moron pole-leaners out there: fuck you.



it's not like i don't fucking do it, but i only do it on the mrt when there's like no one in the fucking carriage who seems like he/she's going to grab onto the fucking pole next to me in the near future. i'm fucking holding on to the goddamn pole when this moron comes to lean against it for fuck's sake. that's like, double the inconsideration and triple the moronity if these attributes can be measured.



so i'm standing there, carrying my bag of purchases in my left hand, bag slung across my body and my right hand being violated. the sweetest thing is, the goddamn moron doesn't even realise he's leaning against my fist. my knuckle ridges not prominent enough for you fella? how bout if they were in your goddamn face? maybe the sensation of my fist against your mouth would be of a more pleasing nature?



yes of course now if it were some hot girl who were pressing herself against my hand i wouldn't be as bothered by it. well not in the way i'm bothered about this. i would be all gentlemanly about it and be like ahem excuse me you are pressing your hot self against my rapidly melting hand. ho ho ho what a charmer i am. BUT this is against moronic pole-leaning in general, focused upon one male perpetrator. shit like hot girls pressing themselves against me don't happen.



anyway so i tried to move my hand higher up the pole so that i won't have any corporeal relation with him and the moron turns his head about and looks at me sideways from the corners of his eyes like i'm some goddamn fool who got his hand trapped there. i'm sorry mr moron. i'm sorry my hand got in the way of you being an inconsiderate asslicker. so he kinda shifted his weight about and i moved my hand higher up the pole and guess what, he fucking settles down again now that he really has the pole to himself. hey schmendrick, the bus is fucking filled with people, i'm sure they love seeing how you're being a goddamn stripper against that pole right now.



anyway i look around, and i see that every pole near me has a moron leaning against it.



seriously, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?



are we a goddamn society of retards. cos it sure feels like i'm in one. only thing is, i'm not as retarded as the rest of society is.



yes yes you'll probably say why didn't you say/do something about it? i'm a very non-confrontational person, which is like a nice way of saying i'm yellow. not skin colour you fucking moron, stay with the context here. anyway i was too tired and zoned out to even be a sentient being last night. so get off my case, i'm not the one i'm prosecuting here right now.



oh yeah and more thing, this is for microsoft. why do the motherfucking windows updates always not install themselves immediately after they've been downloaded, and only try to install themselves immediately after you switch on your computer again? making it so that the computer has to be restarted immediately after it has just been restarted? every fucking few minutes the fucking cheebye windows updates reminder window pops up and says this shit has to be installed to take effect. hey fucking microsoft fuckhead program, why didn't you just fucking install yourself last night when i downloaded you you goddamn motherfucker. now i have to fucking restart so that i can be free of your fucking annoying reminders. thanks for giving me the fucking gorgeous choices of 'restart now' and 'restart later', when all you're going to do is fucking annoy the bile out of me every few minutes by reminding me again.



by the way, fuck service pack 2. i award service pack 2 the golden middle finger award for Dec 16th 2004. moron pole-leaners got the award last night for the 15th in a late last minute surge to victory, overtaking people who expect you to move out of the way without saying a goddamn thing to indicate that you are in their way. fuck those people too.